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Bush Issues "Thankfulness List"
Bush Issues "Thankfulness List"
Pre-Thanksgiving Radio Address
In a special pre-Thanksgiving radio address broadcast from the White House, President George W. Bush asked his fellow Americans to join him in giving thanks for the following things:
My fellow Americans, lets be thankful for global warming, because as these winter months approach, it makes the world such a nice, toasty place.
Lets be thankful for all of the food on our tables, unless some of it is from China.
Lets be thankful that Pakistan will have free and fair elections, and maybe someday we will, too.
Lets be thankful for the iPhone, except for those losers who actually paid full price for it.
Lets be grateful that I didnt take out a subprime mortgage on the White House like Mr. Cheney told me to.
Let's be thankful that nuclear weapons havent fallen into the hands of the wrong people, like Nancy Pelosi or Rosie ODonnell.
Lets be thankful that Jon Stewart and Stephen Colberts writers are on strike, and hopefully will stay that way for the rest of my term in office.
Let's be thankful that even though my approval numbers are falling, theyre still higher than my grades at Yale.
Lets be thankful that Osama bin Laden dyed his hair in his last video, because that made him look really gay.
Let's be thankful for Guitar Hero III, which really helps you get through those long Cabinet meetings when they're going on and on about the economy.
Let's be thankful that our military commanders have nothing bad to say about the war in Iraq until after theyre retired.
Let's be thankful that in nine months it will be August and then I can go on summer vacation again.
And finally, my fellow Americans, let's be thankful that, even though Al Gore won the Nobel Peace Prize, Im still a lock for the Nobel War Prize.
Submitted by Pasadena Phil
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