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You Might be a Baptist If
You Might be a Baptist If
1. You believe you are supposed to take a covered dish to heaven when you die.
2. You have never sung the third verse of any hymn.
3. You have never put an IOU in the collection plate.
4. You think God's presence is always strongest in the back three pews.
5. You think John the Baptist founded the Southern Baptist Convention.
6. You clapped in church last Sunday and felt guilty about it all week.
7. You judge the quality of a service by its duration.
8. You also judge the quality of the sermon by how much sweat the preacher worked up.
9. You think the Holy Land is Georgia.
10. You are old enough to get a senior citizen discount at the pharmacy but not old enough to be promoted into the senior adult Sunday School Class.
11. You think someone who says "Amen" while the Pastor is preaching might be a charismatic.
12. You complained because your pastor works only one day a week -- and then he works too long.
13. You think "Amazing Grace" is the national anthem.
14. The first complete sentence you uttered was: "We've never done it this way before."
15. You think the epistles are probably the wives of the apostles.
16. Your definition of "fellowship" has something to do with food.
17. You honestly believe the Apostle Paul spoke King James English.
18. You think Jesus actually used Welch's grape juice and saltine crackers.
19. You think preachers who wear robes are in cahoots with the communists
20. You once woke up craving fried chicken and interpreted that as a call to preach.
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