Meet Collette . . . ACTION HOOKER
By PAUL KUPPS
PARIS, France -- The latest toy craze to hit France is an action figure that gives a new meaning to the word "action."
"She is beautiful, no?" asked Jacques de John, CEO of Le Joi Du Toys, France's largest toy manufacturer. He was referring to its Collette line of dolls introduced three months ago. "But then," he added with a uniquely Gallic wink and laugh, "she would have to be, given her toy line of work, eh?"
Collette stands 12 inches tall and resembles America's classic Barbie doll. But the similarities end there. While Barbie can be a princess, a nurse, a pilot or any one of a hundred professions that promotes self-esteem, Collette has lots of wardrobe but just one career.
"She is a Woman of the Night," said Monsieur de John.
Dressed in a tight black miniskirt, fishnet stockings, stiletto heels and a belly shirt, Collette also features excessive make-up and a comehither smile familiar -- we are told -- to those who frequent the sleazier sections of Paris.
"And," added Marie Latrampe, Le Joi's director of marketing, "Collette and her friends in the Action Hookers line are all anatomically correct."
Joining Collette on her Street Corner Playset are Suzette la Dominatrix, who comes with miniature whip, dog collar, ball-gag and leather bustier; Claudette, Collette's halfsister who has also run away from their broken home and also comes in a dual-pack with Collette; Jean, le Crossdresser who comes with changeable wigs and a choker to hide his Adam's apple; Raoul, the eye-patch wearing pimp who is sold with wide-brimmed feathered hat, leather overcoat and a copy of Paris Match for those times when he must loiter watchfully; and Pierre, the middle-aged john doll, sold with a wallet suitable for stealing.
"Batteries are not included except for certain of Collette's accessories," said Mlle. Latrampe.
When asked who was buying the Action Hookers, Mlle. Latrampe said, "Everyone. Men, women, working people, white-collar professionals, although our research indicates that they seem to sell in tandem with Star Wars action figures. We aren't sure what that is all about, though we suspect it has to do with the light sabers and where they can be applied."
In the wake of the success of the Action Hookers, Le Joi plans an immediate expansion of the toy line. Toy designer Claude Aviarad has been kept busy day and night coming up with new figures and accessories.
"We will soon introduce Raoul's -- how do you say it? -- 'tricked out' Pimpmobile, which can be parked in the Action Alley playset, located right beside Le Hotel DeHeure, where rooms are available by the hour."
A cut-rate line of plus-sized figures is also in the discussion stage.
Submitted by Pasadena Phil
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